Let’s rewind the clock six months. It was the end of August in Texas. A sweltering day like any other summer day in Texas. We were invited to the Bolding household to hang out on a Saturday at their new house. We would enjoy some drinks, good eats, and surely have a good time. Little did I know I would have my first encounter with the ultimate heavyweight bottle opener.
On their counter, was an old opener, quietly waiting for the next drinker to use it. I marveled at its weight, size, and effectiveness. No measly bottle cap could ever stand up to a beast like this. I learned the opener was very old, acquired from unknown lands. I knew then I would have to find one of my own.
I believe eBay was put on this planet for a reason. It’s primary purpose is to help our hero find obscure crap from around the globe. After twenty minutes of browsing and playing with different keywords, I found my mark. [Note: “vintage” and “large” turned out to be the winning combination]
Two weeks after the initial sighting, I held in my hand a similar model named Kap King crafted Midland Park, New Jersey mailed in from Tennessee.
This jumbo steel warrior is about 10.25″ long and weighs in just under a pound at 15 ounces. My version handled itself like the cool professional I met at the Boldings two weeks earlier. With a quick flick, the cap exploded off my Shiner Black. Over the next several months, countless more caps fell victim. I don’t recall ever needing to pull twice… this one delivers on the first try, every time.
Summary
Does it open? Every time. No bottle is a match for this titan.
Can it open anything else? Melons. Drywall. Windows. Heads. KapKing smash!
Overall rating: 
(5 / 5). This opener works and delivers a wow factor that will attract attention from even the most apathetic houseguests.
References: M-63 in JFO type index.