Fake Keys

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It’s never good to be caught in the urban wild without a bottle opener. Attaching an opener to your keychain means you never get far from home without emergency safety gear.

For this post, we’re exploring different key-shaped openers that you can attach to your key ring. They’re all equally portable, but which ones actually work? Are any of them usable with a wad of real keys in the way?

We put four openers to the test. They’re all about the size to a regular house key. In the  image below, a standard key is shown next to the four candidates. To the right of the regular key are the MAKR Bottle Key, Key-Shaped Pocket Knife, Suck UK Key Bottle Opener, and the Swiss Tech Utili-Key.



MAKR Bottle Key

With an antique brass finish and measuring 2.25″ in length, this opener does the best job of looking good and blending in with your other keys. From a sheer look & feel perspective, this thing is aces. It’s solid and looks great. However, it can be hard to use. A key-sized opener is already a bit small and the MAKR’s opener is at the head of the key. When attached to a key ring, it can be awkward to grip. But it’s cool enough, that I’d overlook it and accept the inconvenience.





Suck UK Key Bottle Opener

The Suck UK Key Bottle Opener looks more like a skeleton key. It’s a clean design and   very functional. Its 3″ length makes it a bit longer than a standard set of keys, which could be good or bad depending on your preference. With the opener at the edge of the key, it is quite a bit easier to use when attached to a key ring. The extra length also helps give a bit more leverage for opening bottles.




Swiss Tech Utili-Key Multi-Tool

The Swiss Tech Utili-Key has a lot going for it, but has its drawbacks as well. It advertises itself as six tools in one. It provides three types of screwdriver: flat, phillips, and micro for unscrewing any sort of screwed-in situation. It provides a straight and serrated knife blade for cutting and stabbing. And it includes a bottle opener.


Rather than providing a loop to attach it to your keychain, it has a clip that opens as you open the tool.


The bottle opener is the intersection of the phillips screwdriver and the serrated edge. I can appreciate the design that went into this as they’ve managed to eek out functionality out of every nook and cranny with this tool. However, this craftiness is also the tool’s downfall. Trying to pry open a bottle cap while gripping a knife blade is tricky business. It’s not difficult, but it does take some concentration. As the beers flow, the risk of self-mutilation escalates.


Harbor Freight Key-Shaped Pocket Knife

The creatively named Key-Shaped Pocket Knife serves one purpose: to hold attacking ninjas at bay with a 1-1/2 inch blade of terror! Harbor Freight Tools has delivered an ultra cheap, yet handy everywhere knife.


This item won’t help you much to open bottles. You can try prying the cap or stabbing the glass, but you’re more likely to open a self-inflicted wound than your beer. As a knife, it does work well for small jobs. In a pinch, it’s quite handy to have a blade on your keyring. The knife is easy to grip, even among either keys. It closes tight and feels safe on your keychain. Once open there is no lock on the blade, but feels stable enough. The only real gripe I have is the craftsmanship. When closing the blade, mine doesn’t quite line up and needs an extra twist to secure the bade. Such is the case with many low-cost items made in China.



Does they open? The MAKR Bottle Key and the Suck UK Key Bottle Opener are both effective. The Swiss Tech Utili-Key and Key-Shaped Knife are better suited elsewhere.

Can they do anything else? As a set they cover you in many situations. If you have enough of them on your fat keyring, you may even pass for a janitor! With all the included tools, you may even be able to do the job.

Overall rating (MAKR Bottle Key): 4 Stars (4 / 5). This opener looks great, blends well, and functional. It’s not as functional as it could be, but it’s well made and gets extra points for looking sharp.

Overall rating (Suck UK Key Bottle Opener): 3 Stars (3 / 5). Very functional, decent design. Whether this is clumsy looking or appealing depends on the buyer.

Overall rating (Swiss Tech Utili-Key): 2 Stars (2 / 5). Lots of utility, but hard to use.

Overall rating (Harbor Freight Key-Shaped Pocket Knife): 3 Stars (3 / 5). This opens nothing, but is a handy tool to have on your key ring.

References: MAKR Bottle Key, Suck UK Bottle Key Opener, Swiss Tech Utili-Key Multi-Tool, Harbor Freight Key-Shaped Pocket Knife


Category: Bottle Openers

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