You’re walking down the hallway in a corporate office. You see the boss rounding the corner. You know he’s going to ask the status of the Quality Audit Reports that were due last Friday. Rather than stand up for an ass chewing, you quickly duck into the open supply closet and ease the door shut.
Smart move! But then you realize the door has locked behind you trapping you inside with butterfly clips, staplers, reams of copy paper, and boxes of toner cartridges. You have to admit to yourself that maybe this wasn’t such a smart move after all.
But wait! Behind the reams of copy paper, you see the leftover drinks from the holiday fiesta! Amongst all the bottled waters is a case of baby Coronita beer bottles, full of liquid happiness.
Things are looking up! Then you realize you don’t have a bottle opener to free the happiness and ease your anxiety. Or do you? Fortunately, you have a formal education and learned how to be resourceful. The classic Swingline stapler to the rescue!
No, you haven’t sniffed too much liquid paper. Popping open the refill lid of the stapler reveals a notch at the head. Flip the stapler over and you have a perfectly good opener. Or at least, good enough.
To use, simply line up the notch over the cap and pry. You find that the stapler takes a few tugs to work the crown of the cap, but the rewards are just a sip away.
The Coronitas are small, but there are many of them. You also learn that as the night wears on the stapler becomes less and less efficient as a tool. But determination and persistence push you forward to keep twisting caps until you clear the shelves.
The building Admin opens the door to the stock room the next morning and finds you slumped in a pile of empties with the stapler still in your grip. She gives you a knowing nod and quietly shuts the door and turns out the light.
