The Belly of the Beast

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_MG_8683 whaleUpon encountering this cast iron wonder, my first impression was… what the hell?!

There is something inherently disturbing about the Whale Bottle Opener. Maybe it’s the imposing weight of the iron. Maybe it’s the shape of the ferocious whale. Or probably it’s the Mommie Dearest lipstick. Don’t leave this guy near any clothes hangers.

_MG_8684 whale  _MG_8687 whale

The Whale Bottle Opener is heavy cast iron with hand painted features (obviously!). It weighs a hefty 11.5 ounces and is 4.75 inches long. It fills the average grip.

The opener has been placed on the bottom of the whale, requiring it to be operated by feel rather than sight. The opening is big enough with a strong catch, so this has not been a big issue.

It’s debatable whether this opener’s primary goal is open bottles or just freak me out. As a bottle opener, it works well but not perfect. It often takes two pulls to pop the cap and will bend the cap with a distinct crease. But it looks terrifyingly awesome and does get the job done.

Is it ridiculous or ridiculously bad-ass? You must judge for yourself.

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Does it open? It feels firm in the hand and does the trick.

Can it open anything else?  I would imagine it could crack a few skulls. If dropped into a sock it could be spun overhead and hurled like a sling. If dropped into a pillow case, it could also clear out the showers in the average prison brawl. If that sounds too violent, perhaps you’d prefer to roll it upside down and use it as a planter for your herb garden.

Overall rating: 3.5 Stars (3.5 / 5). This opener is strangely awesome to look at and does pop the caps with a couple tugs. It’s a worthy addition to any kitchen countertop.

References: Whale Bottle Opener

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Category: Bottle Openers

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